The Entombment of Rejection

This type of entombment can take many forms, some of which are:

Rejection by others:
Abuse, bullying, deliberate ignoring, unacceptance, and unkind teasing.

Rejection of yourself:
Self-destructive behavior (such as alcohol or drug addiction and self-mutilation), self-loathing, and poor self-esteem.

For now, I will talk about self-esteem.

Poor self-esteem makes so many things in life difficult, particularly our relationships with others. It makes sense that if we have a poor opinion of ourselves and don’t love ourselves (appropriately), it doesn’t help our opinion of others or our ability to love them as they are. We have to start by working on ourselves. After all, we can’t give to others what we don’t have (for) ourselves, i.e. love, respect, and kindness.

How do we know we have an inferiority complex, poor self-esteem or are insecure?
– By listening to our words to others about ourselves:
– Do we put ourselves down, i.e. say we’re stupid or an idiot… a lot?
– Do we unduly criticize ourselves over and above what is normal?
– Have we forgiven ourselves for mistakes committed in the past OR do we ‘should’ on ourselves? In other words, do we say ‘I should have done this’ or ‘I should have done that,’ but didn’t?
– Do we allow others to get away with things they shouldn’t, i.e. hurt us physically without doing anything about it? (We can discuss ‘enabling’ behavior later.)
– Do we feel the need to brag or boast about something in order to ‘prove’ to others we are a great lover, a good worker, a good parent, etc.?
– Do we do this because we need to convince ourselves of this, because deep down we doubt we are what we are boasting about? Because—think about it—if we are convinced, why do we need to convince others?
– We think whenever people are talking it’s about us.
– We are supersensitive and take things (said to us) personally, i.e. we respond (defensively). i.e. ‘What did you mean by that?’

In my next post, I will spend a little time talking about what to do if poor self-image is holding you back.

Copyright © 2015 by Theresa M. Williams

Woundedness, resentment, unforgiveness and healing

These are forms of spiritual junk, which is anything that hinders us from being what God intends us to be. While there are many kinds of spiritual junk, I will address three: woundedness, resentment and unforgiveness.

Woundedness: someone has hurt us, and the emotional scars are still there. We know they are still there because when we think of the person or the hurt, it’s painful. If we don’t address this, our woundedness can fester and become ‘infected’ and result in ill will and resentment. Resentment can turn into unforgiveness, and that is spiritually dangerous. If we don’t forgive the other person, then God will not forgive us. Forgiving someone does not mean that we condone the perpetrator’s actions. It means we allow God to administer justice, we let go of the resentment, and we ask God to heal us. It begins with a decision of the will. We may not feel the forgiveness in our hearts yet; that (usually) takes time.

How do we go about the process of healing? We begin by asking God, by praying. If our hearts are such that we don’t want to forgive, we start by asking God for the desire to forgive. Then we ask God for help in letting go of our hurt. This will most likely take some time. It may help us to close our eyes and picture Jesus, the divine physician, holding our heart in His sacred hands and healing our brokenness, our wounded spirit.

How do we know we’ve forgiven or been healed of the wound? We know when we think of the individual or the incident and it no longer provokes an emotional reaction in us.

Copyright © 2015 by Theresa M. Williams