The Process of Forgiveness

Forgiveness is essential to our spiritual well-being. Unforgiveness poisons our soul and does nothing to hurt the one we don’t want to forgive. In fact, some people who hurt us may not be aware they have done so.

Forgiveness can be a difficult and painful process. The process I will outline for you below will take time. I assure you, if you are open to it and the power of the Holy Spirit, it can be life giving and life changing. But, that’s up to you and the Holy Spirit.

  • Get a notebook or a journal and a pen or pencil.
  • Find a quiet place where you won’t be disturbed.
  • Breathe deeply and relax.
  • Ask God to help you with this process.
  • When you are ready, go all the way back to your earliest memory of being hurt.
  • Write down the person’s name and the offense. Don’t be superficial or try to judge if your hurt was that serious.
  • Repeat the process up until the present time.
  • If it’s helpful, split the list by:
  • Phase of life or age range
  • Place of work
  • Do this in whatever way is most meaningful for you. Expect this to take some time. It’s a process.
  • When you think your list is complete, walk away for a bit. Then go back over the list. Ask God if you’ve forgotten anyone.
  • Go back to the first name you wrote down.
  • Talk to the Lord about your hurt.
  • If you are ready to forgive them, then tell Jesus you forgive that person.
  • If you are not yet ready, ask Jesus to help you. You may have some barrier.
  • Pray the Our Father. Pay attention to the words ‘as we.’ (Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us). Note that we are only forgiven inasmuch as we forgive others.
  • Go to the next name on the list. Repeat the process above, making any notes you feel are important about how the forgiveness process went, highlighting the ones you are having difficulty forgiving.
  • Note that forgiveness sometimes comes in layers. The hurt may need to be ‘peeled away’ layer by layer until the memory of the person or the hurt no longer gets a negative internal reaction.

Copyright © 2018 by Theresa M. Williams

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From box wrestler to exterminator, I love my job, most of the time!

I love my job, most of the time. Almost daily I am asked for my autograph. FedEx and UPS must think I’m some sort of celebrity or something–NOT!

I have a window where I can see the weather. Most of my co-workers do not have a window and tell me how jealous they are. I see a lot of trees, but not much else. Occasionally, a skink, bird, squirrel or other creature will appear, but most of what I hear is planes from the airport.

A requirement for this job is to wrestle with boxes, breaking them apart for recycling. Sometimes, I think the box gets the better of the fight!

I get to go outside daily (in all kinds of weather) to take out and bring in the mail. It’s a challenge figuring out who gets what, even though I have an extensive list of instructions. Walking to the back of the building and back to the front is what I call the postal service fitness program!

I have to have eyes in the back of my head to see employees coming to the door to get in (without digging out their key).

Sometimes I will rescue a co-worker–at a moment’s panicked notice–from ‘monsters’ in her office. I get to play exterminator by getting rid of hairy things that look like millipedes, only worse. Don’t really know what their insect class is, but I’m the hero of the moment when my co-worker can relax that it’s finally gone and won’t bother her again…until the next one appears!

I have a co-worker who has an ongoing hate relationship with the postage machine, more like intimidation. She tries, but I end up taming the beast.

We have an ice machine that is intent on banging us on the head with its cover. Don’t know how we’ve offended it, but it keeps on with its mischievous behavior.

There are a lot of other things I do at work, too numerous to mention. It helps to have a sense of humor, especially on busy days when my boss and I are frazzled.

Lord, when I’m frazzled and overwhelmed—whether at work or wherever I am–help me to keep my perspective regarding what’s important right now and what can wait until later. Help me to listen to your Holy Spirit whispering amidst the clamor of daily life. Amen!

Copyright © 2016 by Theresa M. Williams